Rédaction d'anglais !!!

[laurie963]

Salut a tous, j'ai une rédaction d'anglais sur ce sujet a faire : Would you consider emigrating? in which country ? why or why not ?
Je galère pas mal donc ca serait simpa de m'aider.

[Fame]

Hello Laurie,

Montre-nous ta rédaction, nous te mettrons sur la voie
_________________
Fame
Success is falling nine times and getting up ten !

[Nobody]

Bonjour Laurie,

Envisagerais-tu d'émigrer ?
Peut-être pourrais-tu écrire quelques unes de tes idées sur un papier avant de les mettre en phrase.

Tu peux forcément y voir des avantages et des inconvénients, mais ils seront différents selon la région ou le pays... Ce serait forcément plus dangereux en Birmanie qu'au Canada par exemple... Tu n'y ferais pas la même chose. Et justement, qu'irais-tu faire ailleurs ? As-tu la fibre humanitaire ou bien choisirais-tu un pays riche ? Et comment vivrais-tu la séparation avec ta famille et tes amis ? Tu connaitrais d'autres gens, tu aurais un autre mode de vie, tu serais confrontée à une autre culture, d'autres traditions, un autre rythme de vie, etc.

Je te conseille de mettre tout cela en ordre avec un mot représentant chacune de tes idées, je dis bien un seul mot, un peu comme un plan... Il te suffira ensuite de construire une phrase anglais autour de chacun de ces mots...

As-tu commencé à rédiger quelque chose ? N'hésite pas à poster cela ici, et tout le monde t'aidera à améliorer ton travail si nécessaire. D'accord ?

_________________
My lovely wife, my children and my cute dog are my sunshines.

[OrientCat]

Coucou Laurie,
Bienvenue,
Bien sûr nous t'aiderons avec plaisir. Poste nous ta rédaction afin que nous puissions t'aider à la correction et te conseiller.
A très bientôt
OrientCat
_________________
O'rientCat
Ronron et pattes de velours...
Those who don't like cats will be reincarnated into mice

[laurie963]

Bon ben je vous poste ma rédaction d'anglé ( dsl pr le retar ... )

Nowadays, more and more people emigrate. People emigrate in order to flle from religions persecutions, political persecution like dictatorships, economis problems, famine, war, repressions or poverty. Ideed, they hope to find better living conditions, greater potential for their offspring, fair school opportunitis or a better job.
In my opinion, I don't consider emigrating fr many reasons. First of all, I live in France who is a part of the Western World. The Western World is properous and in France there are a higher standards of living, greater efficiency of the system, amenities of a wealthier society such as social security and better healthcare, and better opportunities for jobs and children's education than the majority countries of the world. Then, thr issue is often a sensitive one. A new start in a new conutry symbolizes I will leave alone in my new conditions, and I must have left my family back home. Moreover, if I emigrate, I will be homesick ans nostalgik of France.Add to this, there are always the languistic problem: there would be a language barrier for me if I emigrate. So, for the moment, I don't consider emigrating.
The most popular choices for emigration are, for me, rich countries with a warm climate like Australia, New Zealand, and th US. People emigrate because they wish to leave emerging countries ( Southern and Eastern conutries ) to settle in developed ones ( the Western world ). Moreover, they seek asylum in tax-shelters. So, if I emigrate, I will choose a country with no political problem and an economy of subsistance ( health services, agriculture, small businesses, ... )
To fiinish, we can say emigrate can be conceivable. On one hand, emigrating would be consider if I emigrate because I want new experiences and new adventures or because of the resulting brain brain of some of the best and brightest. But, on the other hand, emigrating wouldn't be consider if I want a better life. Indeed, average immigrants have come from every contry because they are eager to start a new scratch in their new life. Moreover, they hope the will make it but they are be mistaken because there is a gap between the ideas of emigrants and the reality, and finally only the opportunists find an upward mobility.

Donc voila, j'aimerais qu'on me dise si j'ai fait des erreurs de grammaire ou si j'ai fait un peu d'hors sujet ...

[Hayet]

Nowadays, more and more people emigrate. People emigrate in order to flee from religious persecutions, political persecution like dictatorships, economic problems, famine, war, repressions or poverty. Indeed, they hope to find better living conditions, greater potential for their offspring, fair school opportunities or a better job( better use the plural form to make a parallel / utilise le pluriel: better job opprtunities, too)
In my opinion, I don't consider emigrating for many reasons. First of all, I live in France which is a part of the Western World. The Western World is prosperous . Besides, in France there are higher standards of living, greater efficiency of the system, amenities of a wealthier society such as social security and better healthcare, and better opportunities for jobs and children's education than in the majority of the other countries of the world. Then, their issue is often a sensitive one. A new start in a new country means that I will leave alone and face new conditions. Also, I will have to leave my family back home. Moreover, if I emigrate, I will be homesick and nostalgic of France. Add to this, there is always the linguistic problem: there would be a language barrier for me if I emigrate. So, for the moment, I don't consider emigrating.
The most popular choices of emigration are, for me, rich countries with a warm climate like Australia, New Zealand, and the US. People emigrate because they wish to leave in emerging countries ( Southern and Eastern conutries ) to settle in developed ones ( the Western world ). Moreover, they seek asylum in tax-shelters(cette phrase est !!!). So, if I emigrate, I will choose a country with no political problem and an economy of subsistance ( traduit du Francais !!!)( health services, agriculture, small businesses, ... )
To conclude (/ to sum up / ...), we can say emigration can be conceivable. On one hand, I will consider emigrating if I emigrate because I want new experiences and new adventures or because of the resulting brain of some of the best and brightest( pas claire). But, on the other hand, I wouldn't consider emigrating if I wanted a better life. Indeed, the average immigrants have come from every country because they are eager to start a new scratch in their new life. Moreover, they hope they will make it but they are mistaken because there is a gap between what they imagine and what they they will find, that's to say reality. Finally only opportunists will find an upward mobility.


j'espere que je vous ai bien aidée

[laurie963]

Merci beaucoup, j'ai plus qu'a espérer d'avoir une bonne note

[Hayet]

De rien.
dis moi ce qui en est de la correction de ton professeur. excuse moi je crois que j'ai oublie de corriger une ou deux repetitions plus quelque...
excuse moi et bonne chance!
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Have a nice time.

[OrientCat]

Coucou Laurie,
Je trouve que ton niveau est bon et ta rédaction bien écrite. Tiens nous au courant pour ta note.
A bientôt
OrientCat
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O'rientCat
Ronron et pattes de velours...
Those who don't like cats will be reincarnated into mice

[Liam Lewis]

Yes, apart from the few mistakes that was an extremely good piece of written English! Well done there!
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Liam Lewis,English- If you need any help, just ask
www.universel-circle.cultureforum.net

[OrientCat]

Hello everybody,
A ce propos Laurie, tu gardes le suspense..alors tu as eu une bonne note ??

_________________
O'rientCat
Ronron et pattes de velours...
Those who don't like cats will be reincarnated into mice